Reader Question:

Me: 46 years old, African-American male, pro job, property owner, good-looking, 20-year-old child. We date beyond my personal competition. I will be in very good shape.

It appears everything ladies want a committed commitment, they don’t really need to invest in me personally. I really do have a «list» of desirable qualities — attractive, in a position to manage the woman funds, a social or nondrinker and a person who is prepared and capable take a trip and carry out acts.

Just why is it hard for females to devote when I give external signs and symptoms of planning to take a committed relationship?

-Mark (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Dear Mark,

Certainly, a lot of ladies are acting like males (or how they THINK men act) as they are avoiding devotion. Having said that, i’ll let you know you may still find much more ladies who want a safe connection than not.

I am thinking the reasons why you may seem as attracted to women who prevent a great connection. Could this be your choice in goals?

My personal suggestion should be to speak to women whom you might not at first be interested in and see should you warm up to them. Occasionally our failure discover a secure commitment relates to the concerns of abandonment.

In other words, we selected lovers exactly who are unable to get close to protect you from becoming «dangerously» close and risk abandonment.

Try internet dating the kind of individual you have never, previously outdated before. Go-slow. And focus on how you feel on the way.

Do you actually be effortlessly jealous, wanna control her time or wish secure the deal too fast? The secret to success is consist of your self and quell your own personal worries.

No guidance or psychotherapy advice: This site doesn’t give psychotherapy information. The website is supposed just for utilize by consumers searching for basic info interesting with respect to dilemmas individuals may face as individuals and in interactions and associated topics. Content is not meant to replace or serve as replacement professional assessment or service. Contained observations and views should not be misunderstood as particular counseling guidance.

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